2022 was the first year of the Outreach, and we learned so much! There has been happiness, and there have been tears. We have met some wonderful people along the way and are very excited about all that will take place in 2023! We met and have gotten to know many amazing individuals. It is very easy to pass judgment on others who lack the basic resources and comforts of life – shelter, food and material items; however, they are very rich in community. They look out for one another and check on each other.
2022 started off with a prick on my heart to reach out and get to know the folks I would see sitting in a local Bojangles in the evenings, on a cold night, with all their belongings. On occasion, I would meet clients at a local Bojangles. We would be there for an hour or more. I would stay afterwards for another hour or so and work. As I sat there, I saw folks come through the doors with bags of their belongings and sit down at one of the booths by the window to get out of the cold. There were not many folks in the restaurant in the late afternoon and evening hours. When I looked around, I loved what I saw. People were going about their day, talking with friends and family while eating dinner. I did not see anyone stare at the folks who were taking up some of the booths and obviously homeless. There were no cops brought in to ask them to leave. The folks who work there did not ask them to leave – instead, they brought them something to drink or a small bite to eat. What I saw was love and community, and it was so great to witness!
There is a gas station next to the Bojangles where I would see J go through the dumpster or sit outside on a paint can watching folks as they pulled up, filled their cars and then left. When I would go to Bojangles in the evenings, I would see him inside as well. I was having discussions with one friend about a book I was writing, wanting to use it to work with folks who were struggling with life challenges. Another friend contacted me the next day and wanted to reach out and minister to the folks who were homeless that we would see in Bojangles. As I pulled out of her driveway, another friend who I had not spoken to in almost a year, called me to check in and ask for help with her non-profit whose mission is to assist the homeless. I could feel the prick on my heart widen, and I felt guided and supported.
We met the next day at Bojangles and she was able to meet J. His face lit up with excitement! He reached out the next day and wanted us to meet his friend B. As we sat in Bojangles talking with them, it was clear that they had built a very strong bond. J knew that B needed to get off the streets soon due to issues he was having with his health. B had a strong desire to go to church and wanted to know if I would take him. The next day, we picked him up, took him to church and out to lunch afterwards. Taking him back to the woods after lunch was very hard. The prick in my heart grew deeper, and I felt guided and supported.
The Outreach was born at that Bojangles shortly after that meeting. Gene and I have met there every week ever since that first meeting with J and B. The mission was to build a list of resources to bring to those in need, and minister to them through love, without judgment. We have had many lessons in 2022 through our weekly meetings and visits with others and have watched the mission blossom through God’s guidance and support! The biggest lesson was to talk less, listen more and love without judgment! As much as we want to let them know all about what has had the biggest impact on our lives, that has helped us through the many valleys of life and brought us to the biggest peaks, we have learned that the message is more effective when it is felt as opposed to just spoken.
Over this last year, we have witnessed walls coming down, trust being built and the message being felt. At the beginning of 2022, as we went around and visited with folks, we would pray for them before we left. Towards the end of 2022, they began asking for prayers and on several occasions, grabbed our hands or put their arms around us and prayed for and with us! At the beginning of 2022, when we would ask folks for their phone number to check in on them and they would give us the wrong number, or we would lose contact with them when they changed phones. Towards the end of 2022, they text us not only when they have a need, but to check on us and let us know how they are doing. When we visit with them, if they have changed their phone number, they make sure that we have their new number before we leave.
One of the biggest realizations of 2022 was going into the year with a mission to build a community where folks could come if they needed help and get the resources they need to get back on their feet, while ministering to them, telling them about what has helped us with the struggles we have faced in our lives and that God can help them in their struggles as well – and then realizing this did not need to be built. It was already there. They have a very strong community where they are family and look out for one another. They are well aware of the resources that are out there and available to them. Most of them have utilized the resources; however, what has been missing is love and acceptance without judgment.
When I first started meeting with folks, I was volunteering at a local food pantry. In my mind, food is a resource that is needed to survive. I would bring them a bag of food when we visited with them. The bag would contain items that were highly processed, inexpensive and not nutritionally dense items. Although they would take the bags, as we got to know them, they told us that they throw away most of the items they receive as they get too many. As I was visiting with one of the women we have come to know, someone came up and handed her a rotisserie chicken. She smiled and thanked them. After they left, she looked at me and said, “How much chicken can one person eat?” It’s not that she was not grateful for the food – she was; however, she had already received 3 rotisserie chickens that day and could not eat any more, so she had to throw it away.
Through conversations, we have learned that although they are very grateful for the food and items received, they get too much and the items come with a feeling that the person is checking off a box when they give to them. There is very little conversation. It is someone handing a bag out of a window and then leaving. Sometimes, eye contact is not even made. The first time we visited with R, he thanked us for stopping by and talking with him. He said most folks just walk by and won’t even make eye contact. They want what we all want – to be seen, to be accepted, to be loved.
Food and other donations is just an example. The other resources that are out there, when utilized, there is a feeling that they are just a number and not a person to them. They do not get the feeling of love or acceptance. I have been told that they would rather be in the woods than at a shelter. It took me awhile to understand this. Although they don’t have a roof over their head, a refrigerator full of food and a soft bed to lie on at night, they have become a family and a community that looks out for one another and care for each other, and that means more to them than any material items. Most of them have come from broken homes and witnessed the passing of friends and family. Family, community, love and acceptance is what they are looking for and need.
Over the last month, we started packing bags of food to hand out during our visits. Inside the bag is a bottle of water, a flavored electrolyte packet for the water, fruit, a can of soup, napkin and spoon, a bag of chips, and a handmade turkey sandwich with fresh lettuce and tomato. The chips are Doritos, and not an off-brand bag of chips. They love Doritos! The can of soup has a Pop-top and is soup that I would eat. Water and electrolytes are needed to keep them hydrated. Each bag is decorated by a good friend. The sandwich is made a hour or so before we hand them out with fresh turkey, mayo and mustard on bread that I would eat, with roma tomatoes and ice berg or romaine lettuce. They are individually wrapped with saran wrap. There is nothing in the bag that I, myself, would not eat. The bags are created and packed with love – and this is felt. It is heart warming to hear the feedback from passing these out as opposed to all the other items we passed out at the beginning of the year. We have gotten to know their likes and dislikes and make those adjustments in the bags, so they are tailored as much as we can to the individual. It does not take much more time, or cost much more, but the difference is huge! They feel loved.
We did not need to build a community, we need to “see” others, listen more and talk less, and love unconditionally – and we became part of their community as a result. As we move into 2023, our eyes have been opened and our hearts pricked to minister to others through visiting, listening and loving others without judgement, knowing that only God can work on their hearts. We are just asked to love – and his message can be felt as well as heard!