3: 1-20 We now skip to John the Baptist and Jesus in their late 20’s/early 30’s. John was living in the wilderness, probably due to his parents passing when he was young (they were very old when John was conceived and born). While there, he received a message from God and began preaching the message of repentance (a change of one’s mind and heart after recognizing their personal sins). He baptized individuals with water, an outer sign of an inner cleansing showing that they recognized their sins and turned to God to be forgiven.
“Sin” was a word that I had a very hard time with, and one of the reasons I rejected Christianity growing up. I heard over and over about sin and that if we did not repent from our sins, we would be judged and thrown into a pit of fire. That never set well with me. I operated from a place of love and this felt fear based. Besides, I always considered myself a good person. Yes, I had issues. I was (and still am) stubborn, rebellious and a control freak. I never killed anyone, did not steal and did not cheat anyone. I loved people and wanted the best for everyone. I went out of my way to help others, even if it hurt me physically, emotionally and financially. In my mind, I did not sin, so why did I always hear people talk about sinning and repenting? It always felt like what they were talking about was for someone else – not me.
As I began reading the Bible, I started to understand sin differently, and I realized that I do sin – and a lot! The meaning of sin to me, became not just an outward action (killing, stealing, cheating), but inward thoughts as well. I have never killed anyone, but there were times when I was in physically and emotionally abusive situations and I was afraid to leave or hope that a person would change. When those individuals did not come home when expected, the first thought that came to my mind was that they were involved in an accident that killed them – and I felt happiness and relief at the thought. The thought that if some type of accident took the life of someone who I was in an uncomfortable relationship with, that my life would suddenly get better – is sin.
I have never stolen from anyone; however, life has been financially hard at times and there are bills that I did not pay. I remember when one of my cars was repossessed, I had feelings of anger that something I owned and depended on was taken away from me, and then relief that I would not have to pay on it anymore. I reasoned that I had been taken advantage of when I purchased the car from the dealership and ended up in an agreement that I could not comfortably afford. I had paid on the car for several years and barely saw the loan drop in what was owed. In my mind, that was wrong and if anyone was sinning, it was the people who worked at the car dealership as they were taking advantage of people who were financially strapped but needed transportation.
The sin is present in our hearts which translates into our thoughts and our actions. That was such a hard pill for me to swallow at first; however, when I sat and really looked at my thoughts and what was behind all the “good” things I was doing, they were not coming from a place of love, as I thought, but from a place of fear, worry, anxiety and frustration.
The fear of not being good enough landed me in situations where I would stretch the truth or not be honest with someone else so that they would not see how messed up I was inside. I carried around so much worry and what-if’s that it kept me focused on what could go wrong, which stole my happiness and joy. The anxiety and frustration had me on edge with every interaction and experience that I was “mentally preparing” myself for a negative outcome.
All these thoughts that had been going through my mind were not coming from a place of love. It’s ironic that I said I operated from a place of love and that sin and repentance felt fear based, as I was actually operating and making decisions based on those fears, anxieties, worries and frustrations and that is not love. Decisions and thoughts made from that place are not coming from love.
As I began to understand the true meaning of sin, I learned that it is not a “bad” thing. We all sin. We are not perfect. The key is recognizing when my thoughts have moved from a place of love and are coming from a place of anger, frustration, worry or anxiety, and not beating myself up for having those thoughts. It has taken some time, but I can now talk to God and ask him to help me move back into a place of love, to find out what happened to bring me out of that place and to sit with it and learn from it. I ask for forgiveness for the thoughts that were not coming from a place of love and ask God to surround me with his love so that I can have it move through me and surround others with it through my words, thoughts and actions. This is all done internally. No one knows that I’m doing this unless I tell them. I know though. I have recently felt happy again and, although I know that life happens, I want to move through life’s challenges with God’s love as opposed to doing things on my own, as the later, practiced repeatedly over time, stripped me from happiness and joy to someone I did not like or even know.
This Is what John was preaching to others. He was born to prepare the way for Jesus. To teach people about what’s in their hearts, to teach about repentance – a change in the mind and heart around one’s personal sins, and to baptize with water as the outer sign of an inward cleansing. Another prophet, Isaiah, spoke about John prior to his coming when he said, “He is a voice shouting in the wilderness, Prepare the way for the Lord’s coming! Clear the road for him! The valleys will be filled, and the mountains and hills made level. The curves will be straightened, and the rough places made smooth. And then all the people will see the salvation sent from God.”
Many came to John to be baptized, but had not changed anything in their heart. John recognized this and said to them, “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. Don’t just say to each other, ‘We’re safe, for we are descendants of Abraham.’ That means nothing, for I tell you, God can create children of Abraham from these very stones.”
There are several people who identify as Christians, who go to church, memorize scriptures and have elaborate prayers, who are not living as followers of Christ. John the Baptist and Jesus did not teach people to just go through the motions. They taught people to see what is in their heart, to recognize their sins, as we all have them, and to repent through making a change: “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.” We all make mistakes. We are human. Do we learn from them and change so that our decisions, thoughts and actions come from a place of love – and if so, can someone else see from how we live day to day, that we have made that change?
It’s easy to “say” we will make a change, but when we are around the same group of people in the same environment and conditions where we made a bad decision, thought or action, can we continue to come from a place of love, or will we be worn down and our pride eventually challenged to the point where that change cannot actually be made? This is where the rubber meets the road, and its not easy to do. It is so easy to slip back into old habits. Change is not a one-time event. It is recognizing our pride has been hurt and willing to put that pride aside so that we can access the love within and have that love come through to touch others through our words, thoughts and actions.
When John the Baptist told the crowds what would happen if they did not make this change in their hearts – to recognize their sins and repent – to genuinely apologize, to ask for forgiveness, to have proof in their lives that they are working on those thoughts, decisions and behaviors, John replied “If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry.”
When I first read this, I was excited because this is so me. I love helping others; however, I had to then look at where that desire to help came from. I recognized that it came from a place of hurt, disappointment, anger and frustration, so I began to examine those areas of my life and asked God to help me work through these feelings and the root cause of them so that my desire to help others could come from a place of love, joy and happiness within. In essence, to allow God’s love to move through me, without any blockages, and into the person who I am helping.
Tax collectors were not liked during that time as they were considered corrupt, collecting more than what the government required and pocketing the excess. These corrupt tax collectors approached John to be baptized and asked “Teacher, what should we do?” He replied, “Collect no more taxes than the government requires.” Some soldiers came up to John and asked “What should we do?” He replied, “Don’t extort money or make false accusations. And be content with your pay.”
People started to wonder if John was the Messiah that they had been waiting for to rescue them from Israel. John answered their questions, letting them know that he was not the Messiah. He was only baptizing with water, but the Messiah – who was coming, would baptize with the Holy Spirit. John used a lot of warnings when telling people about the Messiah to come. The Messiah coming had some great news – he would baptize with the Holy Spirit; however, he had to let the people know that for those who were on the fence or who did not believe, there would be bad news as well. The Messiah (Jesus) can tell what is in someone’s heart and if their heart has not been changed before they die, they could go to the place that I heard about growing up, “He is ready to separate the chaff from the wheat with his winnowing fork. Then he will clean up the threshing area, gathering the wheat into his barn but burning the chaff with never-ending fire.”
It is very easy for me to focus on the love aspect of Jesus and God. They both, in my mind, represent eternal love. The love they both have for us is just amazing! They can forgive all the stuff that is in my thoughts and bad decisions. I have done things in my life that I’m not proud of, and they can even forgive that. Going back to where I said that I had not done any of the things I considered very bad – killing someone, stealing and cheating. I have killed a living person, in fact I have killed two. When I was in my early 20’s, I became pregnant, and was so excited to bring a child into this world. I was engaged at the time and so excited to start a family! Unfortunately, I was in a physically abusive relationship. We had had some pretty bad fights and I so wanted him to change so that we could be one happy family. After one of those fights, I scheduled an abortion in hopes that he would wake up, realize what he had and change. I was not planning on going through with it.
I told my parents (Mom and Step-Dad), who were aware of the abuse in our relationship. They stopped their vacation and came down to be with me, through the abortion. Even my Dad, who had told me several years prior that I was no longer his daughter so he could have a family without outside attachments, found out and came to support me. It was not something that I had actually intended to go through with, but things were happening so fast, that I found myself in a room doing something that I was against. I had reached out to different agencies and my parents in hopes that someone would tell me that everything would be OK if I had the baby and would outline what that would look like. Everyone I spoke to was for me getting the abortion.
A few years after that, I was in another relationship – one that was not physically abusive. I became pregnant again; however, the guy I was dating was very ill and was concerned that he could not support a family at that time. I ended up in the abortion clinic again, doing something I didn’t want to do because I did not know how I would be able to bring a child into the world on my own.
Our culture downplays abortion as a sin; however, in my heart, I realized that I took two lives that God gave to me. I carried this around with me for a long time. Yes, I had anger, frustration, and disappointment in my life. I’ve been in physically and emotionally abusive relationships. I’ve helped people who have hurt me. I’ve lost a lot throughout the years. I recognized the sin in all these things, but there was a hole in my heart for the longest time for what I considered was the biggest sin in my life – the destruction of two lives that God entrusted me with. How could God ever forgive me for that?
When I read what John said, “He is ready to separate the chaff from the wheat with his winnowing fork. Then he will clean up the threshing area, gathering the wheat into his barn but burning the chaff with never-ending fire,” it was hard for me to acknowledge the fear of Jesus and God. While reading the Bible, I have to look up a lot of the words. I looked up the word “chaff.” It is defined as “the husks of corn or other seed separated by winnowing or threshing. Chopped hay and straw used as fodder. Worthless things; trash.” I related to the chaff and not the wheat.
While John is teaching the people about evaluating what’s in their hearts and making the necessary changes to come from a place of love, he is also giving warnings about what will happen if those changes are not done. The smaller sins for me were hard enough to work through. I evaluated where these feelings of anger, frustration and disappointment that were behind my thoughts, decisions and actions were coming from, and then asked God for forgiveness and to be with me as I continue to go through life’s challenges so that those same thoughts, decisions, and actions would be different and come from a place of love instead.
But what about the bigger sins? I took two lives. How would God ever forgive me for that? I then remembered how my Mom and step-Dad left in the middle of their vacation to come and be with me through one of the hardest times of my life. I remember how my Dad, even after writing a letter telling me that I was no longer considered his daughter, came to be with me and support me in a time in my life where I was really struggling. Another word for God that is used throughout the Bible is Father. As a parent now, there is nothing my children could do that would stop me from loving them. I may be challenged by their actions, I may not agree with their actions and life choices, but I will always love them. If my parents could do that for me, at one of the lowest times of my life, and if I could do that for my children, not matter what they do or are involved in, then I can see how God can forgive me for taking the two lives he sent me. Although he does not agree with my actions, and the circumstances really don’t matter, He loves me and that love is where the forgiveness comes from.
What John the Baptist is adding to his message is that when we don’t evaluate our hearts, recognize our sins and repent, asking for forgiveness and making a genuine change in our lives, we can end up in the pit of fire. This is terminology that I am still working on, but I understand it now to mean that God loves us so much that he sent John the Baptist and Jesus, to teach us how to recognize our sin so that we can make the changes in our lives that are necessary to live with him forever. He loves us and will forgive us for all the wrong we have done, but we have to turn to him and ask for the forgiveness – and genuinely have the desire to change. Sin cannot be allowed in heaven after we pass from this life. If we continue to follow the path of a hardened heart and do not turn our lives over to him, it hurts God to see us headed to a path of never-ending fire after our death, but it is a choice that we make and it is our exercising the free-will that we are born with, and he will allow it to happen, unless we talk to him and make the necessary changes in our hearts. God is reaching out to us throughout our lives, giving us opportunity after opportunity to come to him with all that we are facing in life as he wants us to lean on him through it all, and once I figured this out (after 50 years of going through life on my own and 3 years of reading the Bible and learning about him), life was soooo much better! Challenges are still there. Life still happens. I now have someone to go through it with, who cares about me and loves me unconditionally, and that has made a world of difference! This is what John is teaching people about.
John publicly criticized Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, for divorcing his wife so he could marry his brother’s wife as such a marriage was forbidden by the Jewish law they followed. He added onto that several other wrongs he had done. As a result, Herod put John in prison.