7: 36-50 One of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, either to learn from him or in an attempt to trap him. A local woman whose behaviors conflicted with traditionally held moral principles (more than likely, a prostitute who had heard Jesus preach and had a heart change) heard that Jesus would be there, so she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. She knelt beside Jesus, weeping, with her tears falling on his feet. She wiped them with her hair in gratitude, kissing his feet and putting perfume she brought on them.
When the Pharisee saw this, he thought, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!” He could not conceive that a true prophet would associate with this type of a woman – a known sinner. As a Pharisee, he thought he was required to be separated not only from sin, but by sinners like her.
Jesus knew what he was thinking and answered his thoughts with a story: “A man loaned money to two people – 500 pieces of silver to one and 50 pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he cancelled the larger debt.”
“That’s right,” Jesus said. Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. I tell you, her sins – and they are many – have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The men at the table, upon hearing the story and what Jesus said, said among themselves, “Who is this man, that he goes around forgiving sins? And Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Jesus told through a story that a person who is forgiven more appreciates it more. He drew a contrast between the Pharisee and the woman. The Pharisee was not hospitable to Jesus upon inviting him into his home through providing water to wash his feet, he gave him no welcoming kiss and did not anoint his head with oil; however, the woman did all these things instead. The Pharisee as such, did not view himself as a sinner; however, the woman was well aware of her sins. The woman’s actions were very humble, showing repentance, and Jesus forgave her sins, making it clear that her faith had saved her.
This is what turned me against Christianity growing up. My Mom took my brother and I to church when I was young and I would see classmates there and watched their behaviors and interactions while at church. They were so different from how they were in school. They were very mean to me and others during school, but at church, they would smile and talk to others in a very kind and respectful way. I could not understand this duality. As I grew up, I got to know others who were Christian and again, experienced the duality. They would go to church on Sundays, they could throw out a quote from scripture; however, they made fun of me for wanting to help others, gossiped about others and were in my eyes, very mean and angry people – outside of church. I decided that if that is what church did to people, I wanted nothing to do with it.
I studied people and their interactions. I have always had a strong desire to help others. I started to notice that the people who were struggling in life had the most amazing hearts. They had very little but would share whatever they had with others. Those that I knew who were Christians were different than the ones who went to church. When they would quote scripture, it came from the heart and was not felt like something that they memorized and regurgitated to judge someone or some circumstance. It would be almost whispered under their breath as they would go about completing a task or during an uplifting conversation with someone, said with love and support for the other person. They loved others very deeply, and it could be felt. There were many who were not Christians, but they had the same heart and desire to help others as those who were Christian.
There were also individuals who went to church religiously every Sunday, who were very well off and had the means to help – but refused. They would question why I would help someone. They would tell me that there was a reason they were in the predicament they were in and my helping only aided them to continue relying on other resources for assistance. I was told they were lazy, they were not good people, they were gay, they had mental issues, the list goes on. These were the same people that I had gotten to know and who would give someone the shirt off their backs.
Then, after moving into my first home, losing my job shortly afterwards and during an economic recession, and not being able to find another one remotely close to the financial level I was at that allowed me to comfortably live in my new home, I found myself in the same scenario as those I had gotten to know and helped. Things continued to get worse financially and I was barely keeping my new family’s head above water. In the midst of our financial downturn, I found out I was pregnant, and we ended up in the system, relying on assistance from the government and other programs to keep afloat. I became one of those people who my earlier friends and acquaintances steered away from and did not want to associate with – and who made fun of me for wanting to help. They would still talk with me; however, the conversations felt fake and awkward.
After years of searching for a relationship with God that did not involve Christianity, when I first stepped foot in a church, dropping my son off at preschool and attending a Christmas play he had in the church’s sanctuary, I felt very judged by others. All the feelings of the past surfaced and my guard was way up. When I first read about Jesus and the sinful woman, reading about the Pharisees thoughts just infuriated me. I have gotten to know those people the Church defined as sinners – and they were such good people with caring hearts. I had also experienced going from an extreme of being financially secure to struggling financially and almost homeless, and yes – the sins are there . . . and from my perspective, stem from back-to-back life challenges that don’t seem to have much of a reprieve – if any. Once I got knocked down, it was very hard to start climbing back out of the huge financial hole that seemed to be getting bigger and bigger by the day. To add in the feelings of being judged by others made things so much harder.
I fell in love with the story Jesus told. He saw and described what I had been feeling – the heart of the woman and who she was inside, and the hardened heart of the religious leader who judged another through his thoughts. I thought of all the people I had come to know over the years who I felt acted like the Pharisee and thought bad of others. To me, they did not think of themselves as sinners while I felt that I and others are profoundly aware of our sins, or at least the definition I had come to know of sin – our negative and judgmental thoughts of others. I then realized that this feeling that I had – of being mad at those in my life who I equated to the Pharisee, and then putting myself and others in the image painted of the sinful woman – that thought in itself is sin as it is judging the Pharisee and thinking higher of myself and others over someone else – the Pharisee in this case.