This has been a very interesting week. We have a very sweet 60-yr male whose health has been deteriorating quickly. Although he has been in a home the past 9 months, the environment has become a health concern along with some very stressful situations. We have had several hard discussions about going to a rehab facility or an assisted living facility; however, prior bad experiences and a feared lack of independence has prevailed each time and instead of seeing it as a step in getting his health back, it is seen as being discarded. He has been reminded that this time, he has a community to advocate on his behalf and who will visit him, unlike his last experience.
After experiencing challenges getting to one of his doctor’s appointments, he asked to go to inpatient rehab. I was over the moon happy as he would finally get the assistance he needs to heal; however, he is not in the hospital anymore and with a caregiver listed on his file, it is very hard to be admitted to one. It’s a process that’s going to take time, with many conversations and evaluations. I’ve seen a change in him ever since he came to the understanding that such a change would help him, and that he has a community of people by his side cheering for him and caring about him along the path. The time component and prolonged process was not factored into his decision; however, and old triggers were hit. He made several comments about going back to living in the woods and that it would be better than where he is now – in the uncomfortableness of the present and where the desired future seems so far away and almost unachievable.
We became an advocate for him, a voice when his was weak and was hard to understand, to get to the bottom of what was causing all the medical issues he was facing. The final piece of the puzzle was uncovered last week, and it was huge! He is so close to getting to where he so wants to be – living independently, able to effectively communicate with others, and following what God has called him to do; however, God’s timing is not our timing and the distance between his time and God’s time seems like an eternity. It also requires a great deal of patience to be in surroundings that are uncomfortable and stressful to the ego.
We talk with individuals who are homeless every week, and recognize the same pattern. Although their situations are not ideal, they know how things work and have built up a new comfort zone out of hardships. The path out requires a great deal of patience and the uncomfortableness of the present is preferred when their desired future seems so far away and to them, unachievable.
A saying keeps coming up, and has been said over and over to me when talking with folks about the outreach we are doing – “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” This is so true; however, instead of ignoring that horse because he refuses to drink, you can surround that horse with prayer and unconditional love and maybe one day, he might take a sip and continue to drink – and that would be awesome and amazing. But he may also decide not to drink, and that is OK too, because what we recognize in that horse is what is within ourselves – free will and a stubbornness to do things our way. We love the horse anyway, without any conditions or expectations because God continues to love us through all our times that we have refused to drink.