Our system is broken . . . very broken. There is hope – and then the hope is shattered. This is the story I hear from those we serve, but it was not until I experienced it that it became real to me. I thought that if someone had an advocate – someone who walked with them through the process, could see things in a different way and stay focused on the end goal and not get caught up in all the emotions, that would break through any barriers to receiving services and they could get back on their feet. Sounds simple enough and doable, but has been very far from that. It has been quite the roller coaster ride over the last few months, but we have learned A LOT – and are still learning!
Things were going very well with some of the guys we have come to know. They were coming to church every Sunday and we could see huge changes in them as a result. It was so awesome to see, and to witness! There was an internal desire within them to make positive and beneficial changes in their lives – and they were actively pursuing greater things, and doing it together. They built friendships at the church and folks were excited to see them each Sunday and catch up! Then one day, one of the guys took a drug that ended his life and left everyone in shock. It became hard for them to go back to church when a piece of their hearts was missing. He was like a brother to them. I could see things fall apart again in their lives. The spark that I witnessed went out. We stay in touch, but it’s much different, and very sad. They came into our family – our community – and are a part of our hearts and our daily prayers in hopes that the spark will come back!
Another guy that we have known for almost 2 years has struggled with living on the streets. He receives social security and has good income that could comfortably support him each month. Unfortunately some guys who are also homeless found out that he has money and have been taking advantage of him the past two years. He had a very good life when he was younger, owned a lot of property, had his own business and was married with two children. Alcohol entered into his life and over time, he lost everything. We talk with his best friend he grew up with from a very young age, and his ex-wife, on a pretty regular basis. He is very well known by others and when he recognizes someone from his past, it brings a big smile to his face. He used to drive trucks and operated heavy equipment. It is fun riding with him in the car as he gets very excited when he sees an 18-wheeler, or trucks carrying heavy equipment.
Unfortunately, the heavy drinking has took a toll on his memory as he shares the same stories over and over, and believes that those who have passed are still alive and doing well. I remember taking him one day to Smithfield BBQ to eat. He enjoyed eating a barbeque sandwich with beef stew, hush puppies and sweet tea, and of course, banana pudding! He had a huge smile on his face with each bite, telling stories about his grandmothers cooking and stories from when he was a child. When we got in the car, he asked if we could put on country music, turned the volume up and sang at the top of his lungs and danced! That is a memory that is etched in my mind as I’ve never seen him so happy and care free! It was as if the years of hard times fell off his shoulders and he was the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
We obtained guardianship to protect his money and help him find a place to stay. He stayed with us for a week and thrived. He loved sleeping with and playing with our dog Tucker, who just loved laying on and next to him getting tummy rubs. He did not have any alcohol in his system, was eating healthy meals and enjoyed getting to know our family and neighbors and joined us at church. It warmed my heart to see him doing so well! Unfortunately, one day he asked me to take him to the park while we went to our Saturday outreach. When we returned he had been drinking, was intoxicated and taken to jail for disorderly conduct, which put him back on the street.
We were able to get him admitted to a detox center for 3 weeks. During that time frame we worked with 3 different social workers to get him into a long-term program or a place where he could be safe and thrive. He just didn’t fit into any of the boxes needed for a long-term solution. We tried every angle – assisted living facilities, senior apartment living, income-based housing, regular apartments, roommate situations and shelter programs. While in the detox center, he was given a drug that had very harsh side effects making it hard for him to walk, speak and his hand-eye coordination was way off. He became dependent on someone to take care of him while there. When he was released, we lined up a hotel for him to stay at until we could find a more permanent place; however, due to the smell of cigarettes in the room, he was asked to leave – and wound up back on the street.
I visited with him on Thursday and he was not looking good. One of the others who we have come to know checks on him regularly and had just brought him some food. He realized something was wrong and called an ambulance. He has been in the hospital with pneumonia and is not doing well. It saddens me to see the decline in his health and know that in the past month we have been trying to find him a safe place to live alongside 3 other social workers and have hit one wall after another. I have a hard time understanding how our system became so broken!
There is a wonderful woman who crossed our path at the bus stop about a month ago. She read on the paper that we hand out that we are advocates for those in need. She inquired in what capacity we advocate for someone. That conversation turned into going with her to a surgery appointment that she was very nervous about. The surgery and recovery time was much greater than she anticipated, but she was happy to have someone by her side as she went through something that was very scary. She called a few days later to let me know that what she had removed came back with cancer, but the doctor felt sure that they had taken it all out and it did not spread. She has been wanting to come to the Bible Study we have on Saturday mornings; however, has had some depression following the surgery and has not been able to make it out.
This year has had many ups and downs, twists and turns within the outreach. We have learned a lot, and are continuing to learn. We have realized the need is very great, that unconditional love is greatly needed, and attending church makes a huge difference in making life long changes to turn lives around.